Misadventures: Where's The Expert Gone?
by My Thoughts and Opinions
Summary: After a strange incident, The Expert leaves and no one knows where he is. What'll happen after that is a mystery.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, fellow fanfic readers 'n' writers! Yeah, hi. I'm back, and I'm a little sad, so I'm gonna let it out in this chapter. Expect sadness to be present, m'kay? Anyway, REAR? REARs are the bread and butter of writers like us, so please don't let me starve.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own rights. Bye.**

"Set me free ... from my jealousy - won't you exorcise my mind, won't you exorcise my mind - I want to be free ... as I'll ever be ... exorcise my mind, help me exorcise my mind..." **[This is what I listen to when I want to be sad. Seriously. Also, please do not try to guess what this song is called. There's Google for a reason.]**

The song's melancholy vibes floated around the Lookout, and everyone wondered from where it was coming. **[So, everyone can hear this song from anywhere in or around the Lookout? Or do the vibes carry the feeling of the song and the sound with it? I'm utterly confused. Ignore me as I try to figure this out.]**

It was actually coming from The Expert, of all pups. **[Hmm. Not really that new when you think about it. Chapter 2.]** The others were shocked; the albino wasn't known for lachrymosity. They all began to create theories on what the song could mean.

"Maybe ... " **[No.]**

"Do you guys think ... " **[I don't think so.]**

Eventually, they all grew tired of guessing and decided to find the real reason. They all marched up to the source of the still ongoing song: The Expert's pup house. **[Well, where else would it be?]**

"Close these green eyes ... and watch over as I sleep..." **[Your eyes are blue.]**

"The Expert," Chase tried.

"Yes, Chase?" The Expert returned as the song stopped. "Before you ask me anything, let me finish what I'm doing..." He trailed off as he continued writing something. **[Begs the question: how do dogs have the capabilities to write? Please ignore that little hitch.]** When he was done, he looked up at the pups. "Go." **[Should really be more specific...]**

Upon that word, all began to talk at the same time ask the same question, at different speeds, in different ways. **[Oh boy.]** It seemed as though no one would be able to decipher the message behind the shouting. But, The Expert does what he is an expert at doing and somehow came up with a response. **[Because The Expert.]**

"I was singing because - oh, forget it. Just tell Rererangi, whenever she gets here, that I am gone." And he arose and left the house. **[When I'm gone, when I'm gone...]**

"Gone where?" Rubble asked.

"Gone." And he disappeared from view. **[I feel that this will spell some disaster.]**

Rererangi did arrive at the Lookout several minutes later and, as per usual, inquired about The Expert's whereabouts.

"He's gone," Skye said.

"What? Gone where?" Rere couldn't believe that The Expert had left. **[I had some seriously bad "déj****à vu, déjà fait" here. Not important, but whatever.]**

"Gone. That's all he said." **[At least the message was conveyed correctly. This time.]**

"And you just let him leave?!" **[Yes. Why do you think that he's not here?]**

"How were we supposed to know that he wouldn't come back?"

"Girls, stop." The authoritarian voice of Chase stopped the ensuing battle. "What do you suggest we do, Rere?"

"Look for him." **[Can't tell if this is a plothill or plothole.]**

"Skye?"

"I think we should wait. We don't know if he's just doing something secret for us, you know?" **[This, though, is a plothill.]**

There was silence for a few seconds, before Chase concluded, "I'm not trying to be biased, but I do believe that Skye's idea is a little more sound." Rere thought for a couple seconds more before ultimately agreeing.

Presently The Criminal walked in with a beaming smile and greeted the pups. "Where's The Expert?" **[Does that look familiar?]**

"Gone," Rere answered him, erasing that huge grin he had been sporting. "And before you ask, we don't know where he is." **[Speech prediction?]**

"And I knew nothing about this?" **[Correct, because we don't like you.]**

"You weren't here to know about this," stated a deadpan Rocky. **[Well, then. The Expert must really have a powerful influence to make them act like him when he isn't present.]**

_Funny how everyone's acting like him now,_ thought the present albino BMD. _Guess that's what happens when you hang around him a lot. _**[But that's what I mentioned...! Hmph.]**

"Suddenly we're all acting like him. Makes me miss him more," continued Rocky.

_I just thought that... _**[Karma! kek]**

"Wait a minute," Chase suddenly jumped in, "before he left, he wrote something for you, Rere. It's in the house - check it - ... and see if you can uncover anything." He only finished after Rere disappeared off.

Rere had no trouble finding that paper and wasted no time opening it. She read the contents and immediately broke down in tears. **[Oh no.]**

"I knew that was a bad idea..." **[Bad, bad, really big and bad, this is bad and big bad, this is a big, bad mess...]**

**What do you think's happened? Keep any predictions in mind or on paper and I'll reveal in the next.**

**Also, I'm very sorry for almost abandoning this story, and I won't try to make valid excuses for why, but just know that I will be continuing. It is actually a top priority for me to do this story, along with 'Adventures' and 'No Pup's Land' - check those out if you haven't already - and I'll do my honest best to be more frequent. Anyway...**

**Bye! Have a nice day! See you in the next chapter! Don't forget to review! Send a PM! Maybe some ideas, alright?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, fellow fanfic readers 'n' writers! After an incessantly long hiatus, it is time to return to writing these for you. My excuse is that I had a million and one ideas for a fanfic that isn't even going to be posted for maybe several moons, but anyway we're back to this one and it's time for another chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: ****_Kak_****, disclaimer. I don't have time for you. (Apologies to RSA.)**

There was crying for half an hour from the white NZHD as she thought back to what she had done.

_Rere was skipping along the beach, looking forward to a plan she had made for the day after. She had made up her mind to spend the day with her good friends the PAW Patrol, as usual. _**[I would take this statement as it pertains to Rererangi with more than a pinch of salt.]**

_As she skipped, though, she became aware of a presence approaching her, and the skip slowed to a trot and then to a walk as she scanned her surroundings. She found the culprit eventually; an all black dog who looked similar to her. _**[All black? Finally. No more albinism. ... Now it's melanism. Yay...]**

_"Excellent," she muttered sarcastically as she put her back to that dog. The black dog came to her with the widest grin you'd ever see, even wider than The Criminal could stretch his jaw line._ **[Wow. I'm genuinely surprised that that is even possible. Kudos to you, man.]**_ This contrasted heavily with the The-Expert-esque expression worn by the girl. _**[I mean, being able to do anything that The Expert does deserves credit. Kudos to you, Rere.]**

_"Hey, Rere. Long time no see, ey?" the black dog said. Rere didn't even try to answer and succeeded in only letting him talk more. "Come give your old boyfriend a hug." _**[Well, it's over now. Exes have joined the scene.]**

_Rere wheeled around, livid, and responded, "You best get your melanistic tail out of my sight before I kick you from here to next Sunday, Pouri._ **[Consider that I published this on Monday/Tuesday. That's a hefty ol' kick right there.]**_ Besides, haven't thought about you a single day since I found somebody much better." _

_"Aww, don't be that way. I just came by to say hi to you." _**[And you said hi. Bye bye now.]**

_"And you have. Get out."_

_"Not even - " _**[No. No more digging and shovelling and selling rubber tomahawks. Adiós, amigo!]**

_"Out!" Pouri stepped back, evidently surprised by the outburst from Rere. He did as he was told, though vowing to ruin anything that she and the other had._

_"She's mine and mine alone." _**[Yeah, this is me tapping into the giant reservoir of Hollywood clichés. Apologies.]**

"I should have just left him alone and this would never have happened." Rere wiped more tears from her eyes, and as she did a new thought came to mind. "But how did any wind of that get caught by him? No one was there! Unless... " she paused, "...unless when he left, he told someone and then that person told him? Hmm..."

Minutes later, Rere was in the forest searching high and low for The Criminal to learn if he had seen or heard Pouri. **[First choice is worst choice ... said no one ever.]**

"You know, this kinky black dog did come up to me - in the middle of me planning my next heist, no less," he replied after hearing the situation, "and said something along the lines of 'Hey, do you know Rere? Ok, tell her bf that she's cheating on him with me.' Tell you what, that threw a wrench in the works. Couldn't think clearly after that, so I went down to Mr. Stoic and told him. He started singing this song - I've heard it before, just can't remember what it's called - kinda goes 'I've got demons running 'round in my head' or something. Think it's by..." **[I express my deepest thanks for you shutting up.]** He only stopped jabbering when he saw that Rere was not even there to hear him. "...Barkstille." **[Hey, Barkstille! Just like that other guy who sang 'Pompeii'! Except ... would it be 'Pup-peii'? Just asking.]** He looked around for the albino NZHD, to see that she had indeed disappeared. "Well, then. I think I'd better go with, to help convey the message to the other pups. I also need to figure out why I'm telling myself this and not actually doing it." And off he went to the Lookout.

If The Criminal thought he was going to be late for the confession, he was sorely mistaken. Rere did not seem to be in the least bit of a hurry to get back to the Lookout, as she trudged astonishingly slowly to the tall building, obviously wondering what the other pups would say when she told them that she was the reason for The Expert's sudden disappearance. **[Well, I'm guessing it's not great.]** The Criminal played the arbitrator and decided for both parties that it was better to get this done faster. He pushed Rere all the way, up the hill, and into the Lookout, despite her protests, where all the pups were seemingly getting ready to go on a rescue mission. **[Not 'Adventures'. Stay on track.]**

"What's this?" The Criminal asked.

"We're going out to look for The Expert," Chase said in response. **[Chase is the unanimously voted spokespup of the group.]** "Have an idea of where he might be, Rere?"

"Well, no," she began, "but I do know why he left."

"Why?" they collectively asked. Even The Criminal joined in.

"It's ... it's all because of me." **[Wrong!]**

"What?!"

**All finished. Man, I wrote this thing in one hour just to get it to you at the time of release. Hope you enjoyed. N.B. Pouri's bio will be up a day after release. Check it out if you so desire.**

**Bye! Have a nice day! See you in the next chapter! Don't forget to review! Send a PM! Maybe some ideas, alright?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, fellow fanfic readers 'n' writers! Yeah, a day missed between uploads! When was the last you saw that? Anyway, let's get straight into this chapter and hopefully it's a good one.**

**DISCLAIMER: Laziness kicks in and I keep my mouth shut.**

The pups were aghast. This was completely beyond belief. "How could it possibly be youw fault?" Zuma questioned.

Rere related the incident, though failing to convince them that it was indeed her fault. **[That's not an answer to the question, anyway, so...]**

"It's still not your fault! It's obviously his!" **[That's true.]**

"It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't provoked him, though," Rere practically cried. **[That's true too.]**

"But they were his actions!" the young English bulldog tried. "Right, Rocky?"

There followed nothing. The ecology pup had vanished. **[Does This Remind You Of Anything?]**

"What...?"

Rocky had heard a strange noise behind him, and had turned around to locate its source. That's when a shockingly white paw pulled him out of the conversation, and Rocky found himself face-to-face with The Expert himself. **[Oh, look, it's The Expert. No one saw that coming.]**

Before Rocky could call the others, The Expert shut him up and led him silently to a place out of sight and earshot of the others, and there began, even ignoring any of Rocky's questions about where he had gone. **[Sounds like him.]**

"I want you to help me with an idea of mine." The ensuing silence was a sign to him to continue. "I want to create a mechanism to be able to speak to someone as a voice in their mind." **[I would not be shocked if Rocky could make that.]**

Immediately Rocky's exceptionally large brain clicked into gear, and incredibly quickly the task was done.

"I knew this would come in handy one day!" He shouted as he produced a space age machine with a door to a large chamber in front and two long tubes, one larger, at the back. **[I would, however, be shocked if he had already made it.]**

"Let's not ask why you had this in the first place," The Expert smirk-said.

"Okay. This is the, um, Fantasy Actuator and Realism Transmorpher, and - " He was stopped.

"Take a moment to form the acronym for that." Rocky did, and nearly laughed out of embarrassment. **[Why? FAR- Ohhhhhhh...]**

"Well, at least it's not called the Synthesizer of Hallucinations and Illusions Too, or the Fantasy Upriser and Chimera Kick-starter, or something like that." The mixed breed caught on, and gawked that The Expert would think of something so darkly inappropriate. **[Let's not try those ones...]**

"Well, whatever it's called, all anyone has to do is step inside, where they're put to sleep. They'll feel like they're in an alternate reality. Then someone else can talk to them through the larger tube at the back, and see them in their "dream" through the smaller one." **[Yes, yes, very scientific. Does it work, though?]**

"Excellent," the albino BMD mused. "Call Rererangi and tell her to get in. I'll do the rest." And he disappeared into hiding, ironically when the others had found Rocky. **[Huh.]**

"Oh, there you are!" they hollered. He turned to them, in time to answer their next inquiry: "What is this?"

"Oh, this is the, um," he thought of a more reasonable name, "Insinuator of Fantasies and Illusions, or the IFI."

"Sounds iffy," Marshall joked, to the amusement of all. **[****Sounds - ah, beat me to it.]**

"What does it do?" Rere asked. Rocky saw an opportunity.

"Experience it yourself." **[Let's imagine that this is a deathtrap for a few seconds. What would you do?]**

She was puzzled, but complied nonetheless. **[Not this.]** She opened the door, stepped in, and Rocky shut it behind her. He quickly addressed the other pups. "I'd advise you to stay well back." Not wanting to become victims of an unfortunate combustion, they stepped back quite a ways away. **[They're fully expecting her to die. Hmm.]**

Rocky ran to the back of the IFI and wordlessly signalled to The Expert, who came up to him with a recording device.

"This should give her quite an experience," the white pup said, with a hint of a malicious tone. **[Yay!]**

Rere, currently, had no idea where she was. The sky was totally orange. The grass that was green was now a strange pink colour. The Lookout, whose theme should have been red and blue, was now light blue and orange respectively. Indeed, all the colours were negative. **[Try putting all the colours of a photo negative and see what it looks like. It looks like a horrible white mess, last I checked.]**

"This is weird."

Suddenly, she heard a clock begin ticking. It ticked several times before ominously calm music began to sound alongside the ticks. And suddenly it turned to night. **[So you're telling me that the IFI can also change time depending on the sound that comes into it? Rocky's Developer Insight must be off the charts.]**

And an eerily familiar voice began to sing. It seemed to come from everywhere. **[Before we get into the song, I want to spoil this sector by saying that the song is actually based off of fear and fear-induced insomnia. I'll give more notes about it as it progresses.]**

_I never make a sound_

_Fingers crossed I shut my mouth _**[But you're singing, so I believe your mouth is open.]**

_Thoughts - they're creeping through my teeth _**[How? They're not even physical entities!]**

Rere scanned the immediate vicinity to locate the source of the voice, to no avail. No one was with her. Then the voice was heard again.

_Drip, drop, the night is loud_

_Silence seems to drown me out _**[Rather obvious oxymoronic statement. But hey, I didn't write this song.]**

Before she knew it, she sang the next line aloud:

_Box my thoughts and give me some relief_

She clamped a paw over her mouth, now quite scared that she sang that with no knowledge of the song, and more shockingly, no impulse to do so. The music intensified as the next lines approached.

_I wanna let you down_

_Make you toss and turn around_

_Won't you give me what I need_

Rere wanted to shout to the voice an adamant 'no', but quite frankly, she was too frightened to say it. **[I would almost be, too.]**

_I wanna let you down_

_And I'm always lost and never found_

_Won't you give me what I need_

The last word was held as the music intensified even further than thought possible. Then, of a sudden, the music disappeared and left only the pounding bass as the voice sounded again, drastically different. It was high-pitched and fluid at first; now it was deep and robotic. **[I'd say that this transition is really fluid, and it deeply applies the change of feeling.]**

_Tick, tock, make me creep _

_Never ending, counting sheep_

_Aw _**[Aw?]**

_Never get no sleep_ **[Double negative.]**

The last two words echoed thrice, before the dark tune continued. Rere dashed into the strange-looking Lookout to try to evade the sounds, but it didn't work. And then she again sang the next few lines with no intention of it.

_Tick, tock, make me creep_

_Never ending, counting sheep_

_Aw _**[Aw.]**

_Never get no sleep_

Her voice matched perfectly with that bone-chilling low voice. Then there was that clock again, the song seemingly having reverted to the original tune. Rere looked frantically around for a possible escape, at which point the TV switched on by itself, showing a very old news show. The girl whipped her head in utter terror to the screen. The anchorman there seemed to continue the song, by saying:

_Do you know what the most frightening thing in the world is? _**[There is nothing to fear, but fear itself.]**

On this point he turned to another camera, utilising the flashlight trick to seem more frightening, whilst saying:

_It's fear._ **[I was right!]**

It worked. **[Wow, didn't think it would.]**

Then the television switched to a sort of movie scene, with two businessmen having a rather vindictive conversation. One said:

_Did you plan on going to bed in the near future? _**[What counts as the near future?]**

The other replied:

_No!_

Rere wanted to shout the opposite answer so badly, so that she could wake up out of this horrific place. The TV shut off itself, and a different, softer voice began:

_There's nothing to worry about. You're gonna be just fine. _**[This isn't a lie.]**

As she heard these words, Rere smiled minimally. Yeah, she was gonna be fine. This must be some fever dream. She _would_ go to sleep, and wake up, and be out of this nightmare.

But as she made her way to a nearby beanbag to do just that, the robotic voice from before said:

_But whatever you do..._

And then another voice, evidently a girl's, frightened her with:

_Don't ... fall ... asleep._

Rere suddenly felt a hand touch her on her shoulder and she wheeled around at lightning speeds, to see nothing. She backed away as quickly as possible, directly into a switch. She turned and barely had enough time to read the label before everything turned pitch black.

It read 'Lockdown'. **[Welp.]**

"Well, there go my chances of escaping," she whispered in a trembling voice.

The song continued, despite her musings.

_Don't drop the curtains down_

_Darkness is the whole surround_

There went her mouth again.

_My mind is lurking at my feet_

More voices chimed in and replayed the last three words, harmonising in an eerie way. The albino NZHD felt something run over her paws and she literally jumped metres into the air to avoid it. **[Cat-like reflexes. Ha ha.]**

_Criss, cross, t__he night is sour_

_Pupils fixed on every hour_

At this point, Rere was trying to find some form of way to tell the time, so that she'd know when day would arrive. She was scared even more by the fact that the song knew exactly what she was doing.

_Sunrise is the only thing that's sweet_

"Oh, if only sunrise would come now," she wished. **[Yeah, no, not happening.]**

Then the music swelled again, bringing back a familiar verse.

_I wanna let you down_

_Make you toss and turn around_

_Won't you give me what I need_

This time, these last three words were echoed, adding yet more spookiness.

_I wanna let you down_

_And I'm always lost but never found_

_Won't you give me what I need_

Just like before, the last note was kept as the music increased again. "Not that voice again..." Rere besought. **[Yep, that voice again.]**

It was that voice again. Low, robotic, monotonous, awful.

_Tick, tock, make me creep_

_Never ending, counting sheep_

_Aw _**[Aw.]**

_Never get no sleep (no sleep, no sleep, no sleep)_

_Tick, tock, make me creep_

_Never ending, counting sheep_

_Aw _**[Aw!]**

_Never get no sleep_

The music stopped briefly, tricking her into believing that the song was done. But then it struck back up again, voice continuing in the same fashion.

_Tick, tock, make me creep_

_Never ending, counting sheep_

_Aw_ **[Aw...]**

_Never get no sleep (no sleep, no sleep, no sleep)_

_Tick, tock, make me creep_

_Never ending, counting sheep_

The bass stopped here, thus indicating the end of this song.

_Aw _**[Aw.]**

_Never get no sleep_

And just like that, Rere was removed from the strange and startling atmosphere, instead finding herself back in the IFI. Her eyes shot open, and she pushed open the door to the machine and fell out, face and maw matted in sweat. **[Fun!]**

Naturally, all the pups ran to check on her. "Are you okay?" They queried in tandem.

"I..." It took a few moments for Rere to find her voice. "That ... was..." she began, before her lips twisted into a grin, a mischievous idea inside her head. "Perfect."

"What?" Chase spoke up. Playing the logician, he stated, "You just came out of that thing like you saw every ghost ever to exist, and it was perfect?" **[Yup.]**

"Oh, not for me. Perfect for someone who needs to be taught a lesson."

It took a while, but the others caught on and smiled with the same malignity. **[Hee hee hee...]**

A few minutes later, The Expert noticed a familiar white pup return from somewhere with an unfamiliar black pup. If he were a smiler, he would have.

He watched the white one talk to the black, and the black step toward the IFI and get inside. He then saw the white pup whisper something to a grey mixed breed, before turning away and disappearing behind the machine. The mixed breed approached him apprehensively, as though trying to avoid being seen by the other pups.

"Rere wants him to have the same experience she had in the IFI," The Expert, not Rocky, said. "I'll go play the song again." With that, he trod to the mechanism and did just that, leaving behind a bemused and amused Rocky. **[Missed that.]**

Meanwhile, Rere was positioned in front of the IFI, just smirking, waiting for the pup eventually to tumble out of the machine, scared out of his mind.

And after around four minutes, she got her just desserts.

Pouri literally rolled out of the machine, his entire body of fur drenched, on the verge of crying woefully.

"That..." he stopped to catch his breath. "That - that thing is evil!" **[We know. Ha.]**

Rererangi, still smirking, responded, "I know."

"You knew? Then why would you send me in there?!"

"Because I wanted you to feel bad for at least one thing in your life. Do you know who sang that song you just heard and witnessed?" Pouri shook his head no.

"I did." **[You did not. In reality, SAFIA did, and you just made a perfect replica.]** All heads turned to The Expert, who had then come out of hiding. He immediately put up a paw and stated, "Don't move." The pups, who had every intention of ploughing him over in a jubilant fashion, stayed put.

"Now tell me why you tried to step between Rererangi and me."

**And done! I find that I'm using plenty of song lyrics in these chapters, but I find a lot that I can use in them, so bear with that.**

**P.S. Try to guess what the song used is called.**

**Bye! Have a nice day! See you in the next chapter! Don't forget to review! Send a PM! Maybe some ideas, alright?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, fellow fanfic readers 'n' writers! Final scene of this act, coming to you today!**

**DISCLAIMER: Seriously, how many times must I say that which has already been established? Four hundred and ninety? I think not.**

"Wha - oh, you're the one who did such an idiotic thing like try to take Rere away from me!" Pouri stated, a forced smile stretching across his maw. **[Be thou prepared for an onslaught of annoyance.]**

"Says the idiot who tried to make me feel bad about it and take her back, both of which you've clearly failed sorrowfully to do," The Expert smirk-stated, aggravating the black dog. **[There's one.]**

"Don't - "

"Says," The Expert stressed, cutting Pouri off, "the one who started it with the smart-aleck behaviour." As to be expected, the recipient of the instance of speech prediction took a step back and tried to comprehend. **[Two.]**

"How - "

"I'm an expert at these things." The pups chuckled to themselves as the familiar catchphrase was uttered. **[Three.]**

"Oh, so - " Pouri was stopped yet again.

"Yes." **[Four.]**

"Stop - " And again.

"No." **[Five. Need we go on?]**

"I'll - "

"Then go ahead. Who's stopping you?" **[Guess so. ... Six.]**

"I'm - "

"And I believe your 'warning'. That doesn't exactly mean I'll back down, though." **[Seven...]**

"Last cha - "

"For you." **[Eight...]**

"That's it!" Pouri exclaimed, seething, and he cuffed the white dog in his jaw. **[Ni - oh, we're done.]** The Expert took a step back, facing away, and held his jaw, not at all shocked - he knew that would happen and he wanted it to happen.

All of a sudden, however, there was the faint sound of crying. _Surely not?_ the PAW Patrol and Rere thought simultaneously. Pouri heard it too, and thought he saw an opportunity to get at his 'victim'. **[Shame. Shame be upon you, everyone except Pouri. You should know him well enough to be able to tell that he most certainly will not cry if he's hit in his face. I mean, if you think back, he's been slashed in his side and shot in his neck and he's the recipient of many cruel blows like both his parents' deaths, going through them all without so much as a single tear - even in pain, so it should be thoroughly impossible for him to be put to tears by a simple instance of one-sided fisticuffs. Be real. I, even I, in all my stupidity, know that this cannot be. Shame. ... How long was that?]**

"Oh, you're crying? Good. Then go home and cry to your daddy like the coward you are."** [He's dead. Nuff said. ... That rhymed, actually.]**

The pups' eyes all widened and some even gasped silently.

"Whoo, dudes, you know he ain't gonna get away with that," Zuma whispered, an unamused laugh coming out with the sentence.

"I'll say," Chase put in, and he gestured toward Rererangi. She looked as mad as anyone had ever been. **[When you exist in a realm where almost everyone smiles almost constantly, that's not hard. However, you don't, so fair play to you.]**

"Should we shut our eyes?" Rubble questioned.

"Might be better," Skye answered, and indeed their eyes were shut, Rubble and Rocky opting to turn away.

Pouri was grinning from ear to ear, which was impressive considering he was a dog. **[Wait - ... He's doing that literally? That is impressive.]** But that quickly changed when The Expert turned back to him, no evidence of crying on his face, and with a look that begged for a cheeky grin. The next thing that happened was nearly catastrophic. **[Yep. He's dead.]**

Two full minutes later, there was a fully satisfied Rererangi, an indifferent The Expert, and no Pouri - he chose to leave with his life and had fled from the enraged girl. **[Oh, so he isn't dead. Cool.]** The PAW Patrol cautiously looked back at the scene, but they had no need to worry - the worst was over.

When they saw the tumult had ended, they looked at The Expert, expectant for something. He read their minds and said, "Now you can - go ahead." **[Yay, he's back. Took too long, author. Whoever that is.]**

Within one second he was thrown onto the ground in what seemed like an overdue hug to the givers, especially Rererangi who missed him most. The pups had quite a few questions for him. **[Am I going to have to answer them or is he going to aaaaaaand l realise that they're for him so...]**

"Where did you go?"

"How did you know he did that?"

"Why were you singing that song?"

The list would have continued had not The Expert stepped in to answer them. **[Yeah. That's what l thought.]**

"First, I went to the police station. Nobody bothers actually to look for anyone who isn't an officer or a prisoner there, so I knew I'd have enough time to prepare my plan. Second, I knew it was he who did this thing because, honestly, who does that except for jealous and/or extremely gossipy people?" Everyone laughed. **[Ha ha ha, good joke. Ha ha ha ha ha... Seriously, that was good, right guys?]** "Lastly, I sang that song because it fit perfectly with the situation. Has anyone ever heard of Othello?" **[No, but everyone knows Hamlet.]**

Only Rocky had, unsurprisingly.

"Ah, well, I'll share that later. But right now, don't worry about me. Nothing's wrong, alright?"

"Alright." **["So upon the reunion of the Patrol and its most insightful member, the former will simply say 'Alright' when told that nothing's wrong with the latter." That's what the developer said when he drank too much. Don't drink.]**

The pups left the scene in groups, save Rere, who asked The Expert to sing the song because she hadn't heard it. **[Song lyrics coming up. Sorry to site rules and all that. Analysis in my profile a couple days after this chapter is posted. As always.]** He obliged and began:

_I've got demons running 'round in my head_

_And they feed on insecurities I have_

_Won't you lay your healing hands on my chest?_

_Let your ritual clean_

_Soak the ropes with your holy water_

_Tie me down as you read out the words_

_Set me free from my jealousy_

_Won't you exorcise my mind?_

_Won't you exorcise my mind?_

_I want to be free as I'll ever be_

_Exorcise my mind_

_Help me exorcise my mind_

There was a slight pause before he continued.

_Desdemona, won't you liberate me_

_While I'm haunted by your ancient history?_

_Close these green eyes and watch over as I sleep_

_Through my darkest of dreams_

_Be the power to compel me_

_Hold me closer than anyone before_

_Set me free from my jealousy_

_Won't you exorcise my mind?_

_Won't you exorcise my mind?_

_I want to be free as I'll ever be_

_Exorcise my mind_

_Help me exorcise my mind_

_I should be thinking 'bout nothing else when_

_I'm with you, ooh_

_With you, ooh, oh-oh-oh_

_I should be thinking 'bout nothing else when_

_I'm with you, ooh_

_With you, ooh, oh-oh-oh_

Another break, but this time a voice came through from nowhere, saying:

_Your mind exists somewhere altogether different._

_It lives in a world where feelings simply cannot be defined by words._

The Expert waited a little, seemingly keeping beat, before continuing:

_Oh, oh_

_Set me free from my jealousy_

_Won't you exorcise my mind?_

_Won't you exorcise my mind?_

_I want to be free as I'll ever be_

_Exorcise my mind_

_Help me exorcise my mind_

_Help me exorcise my mind_

_Won't you exorcise my mind?_

After the song he received much applause from his audience of one, who after several minutes of clapping, decided that she should return home and let the pups to themselves. **[The developer reeeeeaaaaally made the two of them separate as easily as that? What did he snort after drinking? ... Don't do drugs either.]**

"Another hectic adventure comes to a close. I have a feeling the next one will be worse, though," muttered The Expert to himself. **[Yay - I mean, no. Nooo. That's bad.]**

**I don't have time to talk to you now because I've got a chapter of 'Adventures' to put up today so I'll sign off with my usual:**

**Bye! Have a nice day! See you in the upcoming short stories! Don't forget to review! Send a PM! Maybe some ideas, alright?**


End file.
